![]() While the oldest of them creeps around the firehouse like some snoopy specter, the two younger spawns of Satan run amok in the place, aiming nail guns and fireball pistols at their adult caretakers and serving them teacups of lighter fluid (not to mention pooping in their mouths – oops, mentioned!), all the while impishly giggling as they wreak third-rate Home Alone mayhem in a movie only an exorcism could salvage. Soup’s heroics shortlist him for a long-awaited promotion, but everything gets turned upside down when he and his three colleagues (Key, Leguizamo, and a pickaxe-cradling Mane) must temporarily care for three parentless siblings saved from a burning cabin, each of them a poster child for human sterilization. Playing With Fire begins with the dramatic aerial entrance of the firefighting foursome as they parachute into a blazing California forest, led by all-work-and-no-play Superintendent Jack “Soup” Carson (Cena), a square-jawed stickler with a plastered-down haircut and the button-popping physique of an overinflated GI Joe action figure. In the silence following each flat-footed joke, one right after the other, you can hear oxygen molecules bumping into each other. ![]() This mirthless comedy about a manly crew of smokejumpers helplessly babysitting a trio of rescued brats has more dead air in it than a radio broadcast hosted by a narcoleptic disc jockey. ![]()
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